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汉化后遗症,译了篇小说

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楼主
发表于 2009-2-20 22:08:49 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
The last night of the world by Ray Bradbury

世界的最后一晚

"What would you do if you knew that this was the last night of the world?"
"What would I do? You mean seriously?"
“如果你知道今晚将是这世界的最后一晚,你想做什么?”
“我要做什么?你是认真的么?”

"Yes, seriously."
"I don't know. I hadn't thought."
“是的,认真的。”
“我不知道。我从没想过。”

He poured some coffee. In the background the two girls were playing blocks on the parlour rug in the light of the green hurricane lamps.
There was an easy, clean aroma of the brewed coffee in the evening air.
他倒了点咖啡。他身后,两个小女儿正在马灯下坐在客厅的地毯上玩积木。咖啡淡淡的清香弥漫在夜空中。

"Well, better start thinking about it", he said.
"You don't mean it!"
He nodded.
“嗯,你最好开始设想一下”,他说道。
“不会吧!”
他点了点头。

"A war?"
He shook his head.
“战争?”
他摇头。

"Not the hydrogen or atom bomb?"
"No."
“没有氢弹或者核弹什么的掉下来?”
“没有。”

"Or germ warfare?"
"None of those at all",
he said, stirring his coffee slowly.
"But just, let's say, the closing of a book."
“那是细菌战?”
“全都不是。”
他边说边慢慢搅动着他的咖啡。
“不过,可以说,这世界就是了账了。”

"I don't think I understand."
"No, nor do I, really; it's just a feeling. Sometimes it frightens me, sometimes I'm not frightened at all but at peace."
“我想我还是不明白。”
“实际上,我也不明白。这只是一种感觉。有时它让我害怕,有时却让我很平静,完全不怕它。”**

He glanced in at the girls and their yellow hair shining in the lamplight.
"I didn't say anything to you. It first happened about four nights ago."
"What?"
他看了看女儿们,她们的金发在灯光下闪闪发光。
“我没告诉你。四天前的晚上它就已经开始了。”
“什么?”

"A dream I had. I dreamed that it was all going to be over, and a voice said it was; not any kind of voice I can remember, but a voice anyway, and it said things would stop here on Earth. I didn't think too much about it the next day, but then I went to the office and caught Stan Willis looking out the window in the middle of the afternoon, and I said, A penny for your thoughts, Stan, and he said, I had a dream last night, and before he even told me the dream I knew what it was. I could have told him, but he told me and I listened to him."
“我作了个梦。我梦见一切都要结束了,有个声音这么说;我记不得那是怎样的一个声音了,但无所谓,它说地球上的一切都将停止。第二天我也没在意这个梦,但下午的时候我去办公室,发现斯坦·威利斯正看着窗外出神,然后我说:‘斯坦,我出一便士,你告诉我你在想什么。’他说:‘我昨晚作了个梦’在他继续说下去之前,我就知道他梦见什么了。我本想告诉他,不过我还是听他说下去了。”

"It was the same dream?"
“是同样的一个梦?”

"The same. I told Stan I had dreamed it too. He didn't seem surprised. He relaxed, in fact. Then we started walking through the office, for the hell of it. It wasn't planned. We didn't say, Let's walk around. We just walked on our own, and everywhere we saw people looking at their desks or their hands or out windows. I talked to a few. So did Stan."
“同一个。我告诉斯坦我也梦见那个了。他看上去并不惊讶。实际上,他松了一口气。然后我们移步穿过办公室,进了大厅。并没有什么目的。我们也没说:我们走走吧。我们自是自顾自的走,到处都看到有人在看着他们的桌子、手或者窗外发呆。我和几个人聊了聊,斯坦也是。”

"And they all had dreamed?"
"All of them. The same dream, with no difference."
“他们也作了同样的梦?”
“所有的人。同样的梦,没有一个不同的。”

"Do you believe in it?"
"Yes. I've never been more certain."
“你相信它?”
“当然。从没有这么相信过。”

"And when will it stop? The world, I mean."
"Sometime during the night for us, and then as the night goes on around the world, that'll go too. It'll take twenty-four hours for it all to go."
“那什么时候会终结呢?我是说这个世界。”
“对我们来说是晚上的某个时候,然后当夜晚降临到世界每一处的时候,末日也在各处降临。全部结束需要24个小时。”

They sat awhile not touching their coffee. Then they lifted it slowly and drank, looking at each other.
他们安静的坐了一会儿,谁也没有动自己的咖啡。然后他们对视着,慢慢端起咖啡,开始喝。

"Do we deserve this?" she said.
"It's not a matter of deserving; it's just that things didn't work out. I notice you didn't even argue about this. Why not?"
“这是我们的报应吗?”她说。
“这与报应无关;只是有些问题无法解决。我发现你甚至没有细问这个梦。为什么?”


"I guess I've a reason", she said.
"The same one everyone at the office had?"
She nodded slowly.
“我想我有个理由”,她说。
“你也作了和办公室里所有的人一样的梦?”
她慢慢点了点头。

"I didn't want to say anything. It happened last night. And the women on the block talked about it, among themselves, today. They dreamed. I thought it was only a coincidence."
“我什么都不想说。是昨晚的事了。而今天,社区里的女人们私下里都在谈论它。她们也梦到了。我想这只是个巧合。”

She picked up the evening paper.
"There's nothing in the paper about it."
她拿起晚报。
“报上对此什么也没提。”

They moved through the house and turned out the lights and went into the bedroom and stood in the night cool darkness undressing and pushing back the covers(这句译不好).
"The sheets are so clean and nice."
"I'm tired."
"We're all tired."
他们起身,把房里的灯都关掉,然后进了卧室,在夜晚冰凉的黑暗中脱去衣服,整理床铺。
“被子真干净真舒服啊。”
“我累了。”
“我们都累了。”

They got into bed and lay back.
他们上床躺下。

"Just a moment", she said.
He heard her get out of bed and go into the kitchen. A moment later, she returned.
"I left the water running in the kitchen sink", she said.
“等一下”,她说道。
他听见她下了床,走进厨房。过了一会儿,她回来了。
“我忘了关洗碗槽的水龙头了”,她说。

Something about this was so very funny that he had to laugh.
She laughed with him, knowing that it was what she had done that was funny.
They stopped laughing at last and lay in their cool night bed, their hands clasped, their heads together.
这个举动很可笑,他忍不住笑起来。
她和他一起笑起来,她也发现自己做的事很可笑。
他们终于止住笑,躺在床上,在冰冷的夜里,他们手拉着手,脸挨着脸。

"Good night", he said, after a moment.
“晚安”,过了一会儿,他说道。

"Good night", she said.
“晚安”,她说。
沙发
发表于 2009-2-20 22:27:19 | 只看该作者
什么派别。。。?
很美的意境
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2009-2-20 22:29:51 | 只看该作者
科幻,很软很软的软科幻。
地板
发表于 2009-2-20 22:31:28 | 只看该作者
这小日子过得真安逸
5#
发表于 2009-2-20 22:35:21 | 只看该作者
.....想起佐为消失的情景...
6#
发表于 2009-2-20 22:41:24 | 只看该作者
忘记最早是在哪里看到的了

不知道为什么,[strike]老汉[/strike]楼主译的大部分都少点气氛,最后才出来一点

意?我为啥要说老汉?
7#
 楼主| 发表于 2009-2-20 22:41:34 | 只看该作者
竟然被老头授精……
8#
 楼主| 发表于 2009-2-21 01:13:33 | 只看该作者
读者上提到这文,找了半天没找到中文的,只好自已译一个。原文好就好在没有那种“应该有的”气氛。
9#
发表于 2009-2-23 13:17:14 | 只看该作者
老弗说的好!!!

人类最大的恐惧——被虚无劫掠
10#
发表于 2009-3-9 13:54:18 | 只看该作者
楼长太有才了,英文很好很专业
11#
 楼主| 发表于 2009-3-10 10:58:55 | 只看该作者
引用第9楼wangxy0724于2009-03-09 13:54发表的  :
楼长太有才了,英文很好很专业
这位你埋汰我哪!?

四级大四六十分混过的人……泪奔……
12#
发表于 2009-3-13 12:59:07 | 只看该作者
这是小小说吗?
13#
发表于 2009-3-24 22:57:01 | 只看该作者
有人说,对译文语言的掌握远比对原文语言的掌握更能影响译文的质量。






好吧,我承认,那人就是我。
14#
发表于 2009-4-13 18:42:39 | 只看该作者
这个文章留白很成功,技巧用的恰到好处...........什么都没写,却又最大程度的扩展了作者的想象空间。

特别突出的一点,就是始终在写一个梦,人人皆知的梦,但那个梦是什么,作者一个字都没提,却比写成任何样子都更成功...........就像每个男人心中都有一个林妹妹,但红楼梦原文从来没有细致描述过林黛玉的相貌,这些都由每个读者的想象力来完美她,这才是真正的完美无缺。

正因为如此成功的使用了留白技巧,所以才能最大限度触发每个读者心中的涟漪。从简单文章中折射出的哲学深度,也就成为可能...........比如我第一时间联想到的是印记城的沮丧者派系——如果一切都是没有意义的,那“一切”又都从何谈起?我们只是无能为力的看着整个世界变迁甚至毁灭而已,那种以人类为中心的狂热情结此时此刻变得毫无意义...........人类只是过客,茫茫分子群落的又一次聚散罢了。

这个沮丧者提出的哲学问题,不只是文人发骚............大家都知道,量子力学对世界本源产生的影响在科学界也是相当深刻的,如爱因斯坦和哥本哈根学派的分歧,也是在虚无和实在之间迸发。
15#
发表于 2009-4-20 12:59:42 | 只看该作者
很软,软到化
16#
发表于 2009-4-21 05:45:28 | 只看该作者
很好,特别是那句“被子真干净真舒服啊。“
人最恐惧的是未知,最痛苦的是被驱使,尘埃落尽时,无论经历痛苦还是欢乐,无论将入天堂还是地狱,众生将同享安宁。

PS
加个结尾如何:

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