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悬赏翻译活动——《去黑暗塔的罗兰少爷归来》

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楼主
发表于 2008-5-11 20:34:27 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
整个黑暗塔系列就是根据这首诗的意向出来的,起码前面几部如此,网上貌似没有看到完整的中文翻译,那么我就冒昧的发动大家人肉翻译啦,活不是白干的,参与的朋友都有100瓶盖,如果能完整翻译其中三节以上奖励500,5节以上奖励1000,整天灌水没什么意思,来干汉化这份很有前途的职业吧




Childe Roland To The Dark Tower Came  
  by Robert Browning  
  (1812-1889)  
    
    
  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  I.  
    
  My first thought was, he lied in every word,  
  That hoary cripple, with malicious eye  
  Askance to watch the working of his lie  
  On mine, and mouth scarce able to afford  
  Suppression of the glee, that pursed and scored  
  Its edge, at one more victim gained thereby.  
    
  II.  
    
  What else should he be set for, with his staff?  
  What, save to waylay with his lies, ensnare  
  All travellers who might find him posted there,  
  And ask the road? I guessed what skull-like laugh  
  Would break, what crutch 'gin write my epitaph  
  For pastime in the dusty thoroughfare,  
    
  III.  
    
  If at his counsel I should turn aside  
  Into that ominous tract which, all agree,  
  Hides the Dark Tower. Yet acquiescingly  
  I did turn as he pointed: neither pride  
  Nor hope rekindling at the end descried,  
  So much as gladness that some end might be.  
    
  IV.  
    
  For, what with my whole world-wide wandering,  
  What with my search drawn out thro' years, my hope  
  Dwindled into a ghost not fit to cope  
  With that obstreperous joy success would bring,  
  I hardly tried now to rebuke the spring  
  My heart made, finding failure in its scope.  
    
  V.  
    
  As when a sick man very near to death  
  Seems dead indeed, and feels begin and end  
  The tears and takes the farewell of each friend,  
  And hears one bid the other go, draw breath  
  Freelier outside, (``since all is o'er,'' he saith,  
  ``And the blow falIen no grieving can amend;'')  
    
  VI.  
    
  While some discuss if near the other graves  
  Be room enough for this, and when a day  
  Suits best for carrying the corpse away,  
  With care about the banners, scarves and staves:  
  And still the man hears all, and only craves  
  He may not shame such tender love and stay.  
    
  VII.  
    
  Thus, I had so long suffered in this quest,  
  Heard failure prophesied so oft, been writ  
  So many times among ``The Band''---to wit,  
  The knights who to the Dark Tower's search addressed  
  Their steps---that just to fail as they, seemed best,  
  And all the doubt was now---should I be fit?  
    
  VIII.  
    
  So, quiet as despair, I turned from him,  
  That hateful cripple, out of his highway  
  Into the path he pointed. All the day  
  Had been a dreary one at best, and dim  
  Was settling to its close, yet shot one grim  
  Red leer to see the plain catch its estray.  
    
  IX.  
    
  For mark! no sooner was I fairly found  
  Pledged to the plain, after a pace or two,  
  Than, pausing to throw backward a last view  
  O'er the safe road, 'twas gone; grey plain all round:  
  Nothing but plain to the horizon's bound.  
  I might go on; nought else remained to do.  

X.  
    
  So, on I went. I think I never saw  
  Such starved ignoble nature; nothing throve:  
  For flowers---as well expect a cedar grove!  
  But cockle, spurge, according to their law  
  Might propagate their kind, with none to awe,  
  You'd think; a burr had been a treasure-trove.  
    
  XI.  
    
  No! penury, inertness and grimace,  
  In some strange sort, were the land's portion. ``See  
  ``Or shut your eyes,'' said nature peevishly,  
  ``It nothing skills: I cannot help my case:  
  ``'Tis the Last judgment's fire must cure this place,  
  ``Calcine its clods and set my prisoners free.''  
    
  XII.  
    
  If there pushed any ragged thistle-stalk  
  Above its mates, the head was chopped; the bents  
  Were jealous else. What made those holes and rents  
  In the dock's harsh swarth leaves, bruised as to baulk  
  All hope of greenness?'tis a brute must walk  
  Pashing their life out, with a brute's intents.  
    
  XIII.  
    
  As for the grass, it grew as scant as hair  
  In leprosy; thin dry blades pricked the mud  
  Which underneath looked kneaded up with blood.  
  One stiff blind horse, his every bone a-stare,  
  Stood stupefied, however he came there:  
  Thrust out past service from the devil's stud!  
    
  XIV.  
    
  Alive? he might be dead for aught I know,  
  With that red gaunt and colloped neck a-strain,  
  And shut eyes underneath the rusty mane;  
  Seldom went such grotesqueness with such woe;  
  I never saw a brute I hated so;  
  He must be wicked to deserve such pain.  
    
  XV.  
    
  I shut my eyes and turned them on my heart.  
  As a man calls for wine before he fights,  
  I asked one draught of earlier, happier sights,  
  Ere fitly I could hope to play my part.  
  Think first, fight afterwards---the soldier's art:  
  One taste of the old time sets all to rights.  
    
  XVI.  
    
  Not it! I fancied Cuthbert's reddening face  
  Beneath its garniture of curly gold,  
  Dear fellow, till I almost felt him fold  
  An arm in mine to fix me to the place,  
  That way he used. Alas, one night's disgrace!  
  Out went my heart's new fire and left it cold.  
    
  XVII.  
    
  Giles then, the soul of honour---there he stands  
  Frank as ten years ago when knighted first.  
  What honest man should dare (he said) he durst.  
  Good---but the scene shifts---faugh! what hangman hands  
  Pin to his breast a parchment? His own bands  
  Read it. Poor traitor, spit upon and curst!  
    
  XVIII.  
    
  Better this present than a past like that;  
  Back therefore to my darkening path again!  
  No sound, no sight as far as eye could strain.  
  Will the night send a howlet or a bat?  
  I asked: when something on the dismal flat  
  Came to arrest my thoughts and change their train.  
    
  XIX.  
    
  A sudden little river crossed my path  
  As unexpected as a serpent comes.  


No sluggish tide congenial to the glooms;  
  This, as it frothed by, might have been a bath  
  For the fiend's glowing hoof---to see the wrath  
  Of its black eddy bespate with flakes and spumes.  
    
  XX.  
    
  So petty yet so spiteful! All along,  
  Low scrubby alders kneeled down over it;  
  Drenched willows flung them headlong in a fit  
  Of route despair, a suicidal throng:  
  The river which had done them all the wrong,  
  Whate'er that was, rolled by, deterred no whit.  
    
  XXI.  
    
  Which, while I forded,---good saints, how I feared  
  To set my foot upon a dead man's cheek,  
  Each step, or feel the spear I thrust to seek  
  For hollows, tangled in his hair or beard!  
  ---It may have been a water-rat I speared,  
  But, ugh! it sounded like a baby's shriek.  
    
  XXII.  
    
  Glad was I when I reached the other bank.  
  Now for a better country. Vain presage!  
  Who were the strugglers, what war did they wage,  
  Whose savage trample thus could pad the dank  
  Soil to a plash? Toads in a poisoned tank,  
  Or wild cats in a red-hot iron cage---  
    
  XXIII.  
    
  The fight must so have seemed in that fell cirque.  
  What penned them there, with all the plain to choose?  
  No foot-print leading to that horrid mews,  
  None out of it. Mad brewage set to work  
  Their brains, no doubt, like galley-slaves the Turk  
  Pits for his pastime, Christians against Jews.  
    
  XXIV.  
    
  And more than that---a furlong on---why, there!  
  What bad use was that engine for, that wheel,  
  Or brake, not wheel---that harrow fit to reel  
  Men's bodies out like silk? with all the air  
  Of Tophet's tool, on earth left unaware,  
  Or brought to sharpen its rusty teeth of steel.  
    
  XXV.  
    
  Then came a bit of stubbed ground, once a wood,  
  Next a marsh, it would seem, and now mere earth  
  Desperate and done with; (so a fool finds mirth,  
  Makes a thing and then mars it, till his mood  
  Changes and off he goes!) within a rood---  
  Bog, clay and rubble, sand and stark black dearth.  
    
  XXVI.  
    
  Now blotches rankling, coloured gay and grim,  
  Now patches where some leanness of the soil's  
  Broke into moss or substances like boils;  
  Then came some palsied oak, a cleft in him  
  Like a distorted mouth that splits its rim  
  Gaping at death, and dies while it recoils.  
    
  XXVII.  
    
  And just as far as ever from the end!  
  Nought in the distance but the evening, nought  
  To point my footstep further! At the thought,  
  great black bird, Apollyon's bosom-friend,  
  Sailed past, nor beat his wide wing dragon-penned  
  That brushed my cap---perchance the guide I sought.  
    
  XXVIII.  
    
  For, looking up, aware I somehow grew,  
  'Spite of the dusk, the plain had given place  
  All round to mountains---with such name to grace  
  Mere ugly heights and heaps now stolen in view.  


  
作者: 220.234.146.*  2008-3-23 16:07   回复此发言   

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

4 《去黑暗塔的罗兰少爷归来》的全文  
  How thus they had surprised me,---solve it, you!  
  How to get from them was no clearer case.  
    
  XXIX.  
    
  Yet half I seemed to recognize some trick  
  Of mischief happened to me, God knows when---  
  In a bad dream perhaps. Here ended, then,  
  Progress this way. When, in the very nick  
  Of giving up, one time more, came a click  
  As when a trap shuts---you're inside the den!  
    
  XXX.  
    
  Burningly it came on me all at once,  
  This was the place! those two hills on the right,  
  Crouched like two bulls locked horn in horn in fight;  
  While to the left, a tall scalped mountain... Dunce,  
  Dotard, a-dozing at the very nonce,  
  After a life spent training for the sight!  
    
  XXXI.  
    
  What in the midst lay but the Tower itself?  
  The round squat turret, blind as the fool's heart,  
  Built of brown stone, without a counter-part  
  In the whole world. The tempest's mocking elf  
  Points to the shipman thus the unseen shelf  
  He strikes on, only when the timbers start.  
    
  XXXII.  
    
  Not see? because of night perhaps?---why, day  
  Came back again for that! before it left,  
  The dying sunset kindled through a cleft:  
  The hills, like giants at a hunting, lay,  
  Chin upon hand, to see the game at bay,---  
  ``Now stab and end the creature---to the heft!''  
    
  XXXIII.  
    
  Not hear? when noise was everywhere! it tolled  
  Increasing like a bell. Names in my ears  
  Of all the lost adventurers my peers,---  
  How such a one was strong, and such was bold,  
  And such was fortunate, yet, each of old  
  Lost, lost! one moment knelled the woe of years.  
    
  XXXIV.  
    
  There they stood, ranged along the hill-sides, met  
  To view the last of me, a living frame  
  For one more picture! in a sheet of flame  
  I saw them and I knew them all. And yet  
  Dauntless the slug-horn to my lips I set,  
  And blew. ``Childe Roland to the Dark Tower came.''
沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2008-5-11 20:38:43 | 只看该作者
补充一句,如果有人能提供全诗完整的中文翻译奖励1000
板凳
发表于 2008-5-11 20:42:31 | 只看该作者
去黑暗塔的罗兰少爷。。。。

罗兰指的是罗曼罗兰吗?黑暗塔指的是苏联吗?.. 这段历史.....  [s:5]  

.
.

英文的纯支持俺就不参与了~  怕俄翻出来教主看了吐血阿...   [s:1]
地板
 楼主| 发表于 2008-5-11 20:49:27 | 只看该作者
这首诗真的很不错,读起来意境很有味,怎么样用中文来表示,的确有难度 [s:6]
5#
发表于 2008-5-11 21:04:11 | 只看该作者
[s:7]  [s:7]  [s:7]

I.

我第一次以为是,他说谎,每一句话,
这hoary削弱,与恶意的眼睛
askance观赏的工作,他的谎言
关于排雷,及口稀少的负担不起
镇压的吉利, pursed和得分
它的优势,在多一个受害者,从而取得的。
6#
 楼主| 发表于 2008-5-11 21:13:43 | 只看该作者
引用第4楼hu4514325于2008-05-11 21:04发表的  :
[s:7]  [s:7]  [s:7]

I.

我第一次以为是,他说谎,每一句话,
.......
机译份子[s:6]
7#
发表于 2008-5-11 21:52:57 | 只看该作者
这难度也太大了吧。。。。。
8#
 楼主| 发表于 2008-5-11 21:57:13 | 只看该作者
的确很大,我现在已经不抱希望啦 [s:2]

当然奖金还是照旧准备着,有能者就来拿吧
9#
发表于 2008-5-11 22:04:22 | 只看该作者
难度不小,直译明显不行。意译就得表达出原文的意境。。。
10#
发表于 2008-5-11 22:09:13 | 只看该作者
引用第4楼hu4514325于2008-05-11 21:04发表的 :
[s:7]   [s:7]   [s:7]

I.

我第一次以为是,他说谎,每一句话,
这hoary削弱,与恶意的眼睛
askance观赏的工作,他的谎言
关于排雷,及口稀少的负担不起
镇压的吉利, pursed和得分
它的优势,在多一个受害者,从而取得的。
.......



很强大啊~~~  [s:2]  +2
11#
 楼主| 发表于 2008-5-12 18:26:09 | 只看该作者
cjhzx 翻译第一段……

我第一个念头是,他句句都是谎话。
那个头发花白的跛子,用恶狠狠的目光
斜着觑视我对他谎言的反应。伤痕累累的嘴角撅着,
对因此又增加了一个受害者,似乎抑制不住的幸灾乐祸。

很赞
12#
发表于 2008-5-12 19:48:47 | 只看该作者
不明白
13#
发表于 2008-5-12 21:12:14 | 只看该作者
写屎我最会了 哈哈哈
翻译不容易的 洋人诗歌 规矩不懂 压韵还要压到点子上
最重要的 这样好几个人翻译凑起来 不是各种风味都有了?这是文学翻译不是汉化奥秘哇
drlecter 这篇的背景花絮给一下 俺文盲 不知道是啥
14#
 楼主| 发表于 2008-5-12 21:21:37 | 只看该作者
呃,其实风格不统一没有关系,大概意思出来之后我来润色统一 [s:2]

这个的背景花絮……?其实老头我也不是太清楚,斯蒂芬金的长篇奇幻《黑暗塔》系列知道不?就是根据这首诗的意象来的。

所以说翻译这个文采韵律啥的都不用太在意,反正最后可以统一

诗歌翻译的确难,老头一人干不来,众人拾柴火焰高,大家一齐来帮忙 [s:2]
15#
发表于 2008-5-12 23:53:19 | 只看该作者
[s:7]  [s:7]  [s:7]

众人拾柴火焰高,大家一起烧老头
16#
发表于 2008-5-13 09:11:21 | 只看该作者
咦,避难所好久没来,不讲RP啦?从个人资料里消失啦?? [s:3]

我以为是散文体呢,不是按诗歌体翻译滴,抱歉抱歉啦:)

前面几段难,后面还好,有相关背景介绍下就更好了……
17#
 楼主| 发表于 2008-5-13 09:16:22 | 只看该作者
背景资料--!
老头不才,是看的小说才关注这首诗,之前对外国诗歌也没什么研究……
http://disk1.8f.com.cn/down.aspx ... %b9%b5%d9%b7%d2.rar
上面是小说的下载地址,共七部,汉化了六部,老头全买了 [s:2]
18#
发表于 2008-5-13 22:46:13 | 只看该作者
我想挣瓶盖 搜了下背景资料 结果发现连他老婆 勃郎宁夫人的《白头偕老》都翻不好 算了。。。。
19#
发表于 2008-5-14 09:05:22 | 只看该作者
所谓的背景之类的,以下的应该也算吧,何不看看老外的分析解说
Summary

Published in the volume Men and Women, "Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came" takes its title and its inspiration from the song sung by Edgar in Shakespeare's King Lear, when he pretends to be a madman. "Childe" is an archaic aristocratic title indicating a young man who has not yet been knighted. This particular young man is on a quest for the "Dark Tower": what the tower's significance is we do not know (perhaps it holds the Holy Grail). He wanders through a dark, marshy waste-land, filled with horrors and terrible noises. He thinks of home and old friends as he presses forward. Fighting discouragement and fear, he reaches the tower, where he sounds his horn, knowing as he does that his quest and his life have come to an end.


Form

"Childe Roland" divides into six-line stanzas, mostly in irregularly stressed pentameter lines. The stanzas rhyme ABBAAB. Much of the language in this poem makes a rough, even unpoetic impression: it reflects the ugly scenery and hellish journey it discusses. Lines such as "In the dock's harsh swarth leaves..." wind so contortedly that they nearly confound all attempts at reading them aloud. Both the rhyme scheme and the poem's vocabulary suggest a deliberate archaicness, similar to some of Tennyson's poems. However, unlike Tennyson's poems, this poem recreates a medieval world that does not evoke pleasant fairy tales, but rather dark horrors.


Commentary

Browning's vision of the wasteland prefigures T.S. Eliot's The Waste Land and other works of high modernism. The barren plains symbolize the sterile, corrupted conditions of modern life. Although they are depopulated and remote, they serve as a stand-in for the city. Childe Roland hallucinates about dead comrades and imagines horrors that aren't actually there: like the modern city, this place strains his psyche and provokes abnormal responses. Indeed, he has only arrived here by way of a malevolent guide: Roland's first instinct is to think that the man is lying to him, but his lack of spiritual guidance and his general confusion lead him to accept the man's directions.
Childe Roland's quest has no pertinence to the modern world, a fact evidenced by the fact that the young man has no one with whom to celebrate his success--in fact, no one will even know of it. In this way his journey speaks to the anonymity and isolation of the modern individual. The meaninglessness of Roland's quest is reinforced by its origins: Childe Roland is not the creation of a genuine madman, but of a man (Edgar in Lear) who pretends to be mad to escape his half-brother's murderous intentions. The inspiration for Browning's poem thus springs from no sincere emotion, not even from genuine madness: it is a convenience and a folly, a sane man's approximation of what madness might look like. The inspiration is an empty performance, just as the quest described here is an empty adventure.
Much of the poem's imagery references the storm scene in Lear from whence its inspiration comes. Shakespeare is, of course, the patriarch of all English literature, particularly poetry; but here Browning tries to work out his own relationship to the English literary tradition. He also tries to analyze the continued importance of canonical works in a much-changed modern world. (Via his reference to Shakespeare and to medieval themes, Browning places especial emphasis on these two eras of literature.) He suggests that while the Shakespearean and medieval modes still have aesthetic value, their cultural maintains a less certain relevance. That no one hears Roland's horn or appreciates his deeds suggests cultural discontinuity: Roland has more in common with the heroes of the past than with his peers; he has nothing in common with Browning's contemporaries except an overwhelming sense of futility. Indeed, the poem laments a meaninglessness so all-pervasive that even the idea of the wasteland cannot truly describe modern life or make a statement about that life; it is this sense of meaninglessness that dominates the poem.

以上来自http://www.sparknotes.com/poetry/browning/section8.rhtml

----------------------空洞的分隔线----------------
个别词汇的解释(行首数字为诗行数):
1] The title of the poem, and in Browning's own account the source of the theme, is spoken as a line of nonsense by the disguised Edgar in King Lear (at the end of III, iv).
"Childe" indicates a candidate for knighthood, the medieval sense being "a well-born youth."

48] estray: a tame beast found wandering or without an owner.

66] calcine: made friable by means of heat.

68] bents: blades of stiff grass.

70] as to: as if to.

72] Pashing: smashing.

80] colloped: ridged with lumps like collops of meat.

161] dragon-penned: winged like a dragon.

179] nonce: occasion.

182] the fool's heart. "The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God" (Psalm 14:1).

203] slug-horn: usually explained as a corruption of slogan, used here by Browning in the mistaken idea that it means a horn. Chatterton made this mistake in his Battle of Hastings, II, 10: "Some caught a slughorne and an onset wound." But there is the hyphenated word slug-horn, meaning a short and ill-formed horn of some animal of the ox kind. It is possible that Browning used the word in this sense. To have a misshapen horn hanging at the gate would be in keeping with the other features of the poem.

以上来自https://tspace.library.utoronto.ca/html/1807/4350/poem268.html

------------------空洞的分隔线--------------------
灰常有用的网站,至少部分还是比较有用的(没用的如介绍部分提了很多问题,真是的,我还要问他咧!)
http://www.usp.nus.edu.sg/landow ... rs/rb/rolandov.html

-------------------空洞的分隔线--------------------
维基  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Childe_Roland_to_the_Dark_Tower_Came
20#
 楼主| 发表于 2008-5-14 09:12:46 | 只看该作者
LS真好 [s:7]
瓶盖之后一齐奉上
众人拾柴火焰高,啦啦啦
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